Tuesday, April 30, 2013


" can't i take away all this pain?
i wanna see the light
i'd tried to every night, all in vain, in vain

sometimes i cannot take this place
sometimes it's my life i can't taste
sometimes i cannot feel my face

something takes a part of me.."

illarionova n.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

wild geese

you do not have to be good.
you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
tell me about despair, yours, and i will tell you mine.
meanwhile the world goes on.
meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.
meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.
whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting 
over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

- mary oliver -


Saturday, March 17, 2012

when a day is bad

today is another tough day for my living abroad. i'm thankful for being able to cry in my little room, otherwise myself would go mad.

i'm going to bed now, have a good sleep, and try harder tomorrow. it is my decision to live far away from vietnam, and i believe the challenge so far has not reached my limit.

besides, always in the loneliest situations do i find it easier to understand the need for love and sympathy for other people. we all have bad days, but many times we can't and don't talk about it. that is why plato said, "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". and there are so many individuals who i wanna help and protect, so i've got to be strong first.

this picture of me and the children cheered me up a lot :-)

Monday, March 12, 2012

"but I could have told you, Vincent,"

Flower Beds in Holland (1883), Vincent van Gogh
" now I understand
what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free
they would not listen, they did not know how
perhaps they never will..

on that starry, starry night
you took your life as lovers often do
but I could have told you, Vincent,
this world was never meant for one
as beautiful as you. "



Wednesday, February 29, 2012


"confined to sex, we pressed against
the limits of the sea
i saw there were no oceans left
for scavengers like me"